


Significant Secret

by Vixeen



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-14
Updated: 2005-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:30:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixeen/pseuds/Vixeen
Summary: Some People are never just ordinary.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

**"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." -Carl Jung (1875-1961)**

 

 

Justin pulled his hat off, running his hand through his hair, making the strands disheveled, reducing the look of it being matted down. Tugging his gloves off he put them and his hat in his messenger bag and took a seat at the counter.

Deb approached him, pulling her order pad out of her apron. "What can I get you, Cutie?"

He smiled at her. "You must be Debbie." 

Thinking how she never forgot a face, Deb knew she never met the boy before so she raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"You know my mom from PFLAG, Jennifer Taylor."

"Jen, of course! You're Justin?" he nodded. "You're adorable."

Blushing. "Uh...Thanks I guess."

"What can I get you? On the house." 

He didn't bother to look at the menu. "Just a coffee, I'm trying to keep awake while running all over this frozen tundra." Justin looked toward the front window seeing the snow that was beginning to fall again. Then noticing the lustful looks and suggestive nods he was getting from the booths up front.

"You better watch out, you're fresh meat around here." Turning she grabbed a coffee pot, filling the cup she placed in front of him. "So what are you up to out there? You better watch out with weather like that, important things could get frostbite." She winked at him and he laughed. Hot steam rose from the porcelain cup, warming his face. He took a sip.

"Looking for a job that hopefully won't mess with my school schedule." He took another drink. " But who the hell wants to hire some kid? Thank god I got a scholarship. My asshole dad basically cut me off and threw me out when he found out I could give a mean blow job." Realizing what he said, he looked at Deb. "Sorry."

"You think thats going to offend me or something? I've heard alot worse around here, Hun." the cook dinged a bell and Deb went over and took the plates, passing behind Justin. "Don't go anywhere." He smiled already feeling comfortable around her, the things his mom had said about her true.

Justin lifted his bag onto the counter, pulling out today's newspaper and his sketchpad. Unfolding the newspaper he vaguely heard the bells above the door.

 

Brian strode into the diner shaking off his coat, Michael and Emmett walking in behind him. Seeing a free booth he went to it immediately and sat down. Emmett unraveled his scarf from around his throat. "Thank God my boyfriend doesn't have his penis pierced, as cold as it is out there my tongue might stick to it." Michael laughed. He took a seat across from Brian scooting towards the wall, Emmett sat beside him. 

"Shit, You'd better start to charge if he has you sucking him off outside, in this weather." Brian signaled to Deb and then glanced around the diner checking the place out. Nobody even remotely interesting up front, his hazel eyes ran along the counter, stopping suddenly on the blonde. Said blonde looked toward the window taking a sip from his cup, oblivious to Brian studying his profile. 

"Woah, hot number." Emmett must have found him too, Brian thought.

"Where?" Michael asked and Emmett pointed.

"Hey guys, what can I get you?"

Emmett grinned, "Him, in my bed, sometime in my lifetime."

Deb laughed knowingly. "You mean Justin?"

Breaking his trance Brian looked up. "Justin?"

"Yeah, real nice kid, having some fatherly problems though." Deb spied him sadly.

"Oh no. Not again!"

"What?" She looked at Michael.

"I know that look. No way, no more strays Ma." Then scanning the menu. "I'll have some minestrone soup."

"Okay, and who the hell said anything about taking him in? You make it sound like he's a dog or something."

"Hardly" Em interrupted.

"I'll have you know he's a student at PIFA and according to his mother he's very intelligent." she finished proudly.

"His mother?" Christ! Ma..." Deb shot him a look and Brian smiled to himself. Deb could go on talking, he didn't mind. He was learning information without having to be obvious about it.

"Yes from his mother, she goes to PFLAG. He's a sweetheart."

Emmett continued to stare at him. "I bet he's sweet." 

Brian cleared his throat and gave him a warning glare. Emmett's eyebrows knitted together, wondering about the look, while Michael became troubled, he didn't like where this was heading. Premature as it was, he could feel the change in his friend.

 

Over at the counter Justin sat looking at the red circles drawn around the help wanted ads. Some already crossed out, others waiting. 'Fucking Craig' he thought miserably. He should have seen it coming, his father had been acting differently towards him ever since he threw his acceptance letter to Dartmouth in the garbage and chose instead to go to PIFA, so many months ago. He thought his fathers head would explode. He suspected that he wasn't thrown on the streets then due to whatever magic his mother had been able to work over the disgruntled man, though nothing had helped the severe silent treatment that had followed. Then one afternoon Dear ol' Dad had come home early and found his only son giving a fellow student a blowjob on the couch and the shit really hit the fan. Pennyless and homeless all because of a blowjob to some kid he couldn't even remember. He had been staying at Daph's but that welcome was wearing thin. The house was packed enough with the roommates who were living there to. It was definately time to move on.

Deb went to put the orders in and came back around to face Justin. "So, figure anything out?"

He shoved the newspaper aside and flipped open his sketchbook. "Not really...Maybe it'll come to me. Do you mind?" He motioned with his pencil to the book, studying her then doing a few strokes.

"You want to draw me?" Still sketching he gave her a quick smile. She patted her hair and smacked her lips then quickly spit out her gum. He chuckled and kept going until they both heard the bell and she left him again to distribute the orders. 

She delivered the food to the guys with a huge grin on her face. "Whats with you?" Michael inquired.

"I'm an artist's subject!" she said excitedly.

"A what?!" 

Ignoring him she went back to stand in front of Justin, who looked up at her again and seeming to see what he needed bent his head.

Michael huffed. "Well you two might as well keeps your schedule's open." Brian looked up from his turkey sandwich and Emmett took another bite of his before looking at Michael. "It's as good as done, that kid's going to be moved in by the end of the week." Brian looked at Deb who was smiling in a pose then studied the back of Justin's head. He still hadn't gotten a clear look at him. Maybe the hard on he was trying to halt wasn't even warranted. 

Justin kept sketching as Deb went around seeing if anyone needed anything. Stopping by their table, she refilled Emmett's and Brian's cups. "That kid has tons of talent, he's almost done!" 

"Can we see the finished product?" pausing to wonder if this kid had a boyfriend Emmett added, "Hey Deb is he attached?" 

"Sorry, Don't know." she left to refill some cups in the booth behind them.

"Hey Picasso." Brian called out. 

Justin looked up from the counter, turning and almost fell off his stool. Intense hazel eyes grabbed his attention immediately. Even being an artist he never thought he'd seen that color before. He smiled shyly, feeling like these eyes were looking into his soul. They kept their eyes on each other, both critically studying the other.

"You got a boyfriend, sweetie?" Em asked.

Brian rolled his eyes breaking the look. "Subtle, real subtle."

"What? Like you didn't want to know?" Em looked back to Justin "So?"

He blushed a little, from the question and also from the brunette's eyes on him. He looked directly at Brian. "Nope."

A couple of bears behind Brian exhaled loudly, he turned his head. "Sorry boys. Those fantasies won't be coming true." 

Justin beamed and it was Brian's turn to almost be knocked over, trying to control himself from going over there and ravishing him on the counter, viewers or no viewers. The people here would surely get more than their money's worth. Justin looked down at his watch and jumped off the stool. Giving Brian and everyone else a nice view of his backside, he ripped out the drawing he had finished and then stuffed everything else back into his bag, taking out his hat and gloves. Not seeing Debbie he walked over to the brunette's table, hardly noticing the others.

"Hey Um..." he fumbled.

Brian smirked. "Brian..." 'God those eyes will be the death of me' they both thought at the same time.

"Brian. Hi." Brian picked up on his nervousness. "Can you give this to Deb? I have to go." Deb had seemed friendly with them, he guessed they new each other outside this place. 

"Sure." He reached out his hand and took the drawing from him. Justin smiled slightly, still shy.

"She's my mother." Michael snapped.

Emmett nudged him. "I'm Emmett and this is Michael, Deb's son, he can be kind of rude but ignore it." Justin looked quickly and acknowledged them, pulling his gloves on he said to them, "Tell Deb I said bye." Then to Brian, "Thanks again." Giving him a last, lingering look he put his hat on and started towards the door.

"Hey Sunshine!" Deb's voice boomed from the back. He turned quickly. "You bring your ass back here tomorrow if you don't find anything, got it?" He nodded then pushed out the door and was gone.

"Sunshine?" Brian questioned.

"That kid lights up the room, whether it be his smile or talent." Who could argue?

"I told you, end of the week." Michael grumbled.


	2. Significant Secret

**It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.  
Andre Gide (1869 - 1951)**

 

Brooding in the backseat, wishing he could have done this on his own. Justin let out an aggravated sigh. "You guys didn't have to chaperone me on this little moving trip, ya know." 

"Believe me it wasn't our idea." Michael complained.

Out of the corner of his eye, Brian looked at Michael, then checked his side mirror. "Yes we did otherwise his mom would have had our balls."

"Well it shouldn't take long, I don't have much here and the rest is at Daphne's." He snuck a look at Brian's face through the front mirror. "Thanks though, for the help." Brian caught his eyes and smiled. Ten minutes later Justin was pointing out his house. Brian pulled into the driveway, impressed with the look of the place.

Michael was the first to hop out, and the only one. Seeing no movement from the backseat Brian shifted and stared at Justin who was worrying the string of his hoodie with his lips. Thinking about how he'd like to give him something else to worry with his lips, Brian started to talk before his thoughts got even more out of control. "How long are we going to sit here?" Justin and Brian both watching as Michael clapped his hands eagerly. "Maybe your onto something. Let's just have Mikey do all the work, throw him your house keys will you." Brian leaned against his seat and closed his eyes.

A couple minutes later Michael leaned into the driver side window. "Are we getting your crap or not? I don't want to be hanging around Pleasantville all afternoon." 

Not answering, Justin pulled himself up by the roll bar and jumped down. Making it to the front door before Brian even got out, he turned and yelled. "Just stay out here okay?" not waiting for a response he disappeared inside.

"Jesus, look at this house. Could this kid be any better off? What does he have to whine about? I'm really sure his life sucks so much."

Leaning against the hood of the jeep, Brian pulled out a cigarette and lit up. "Doesn't sound like he's the one whining to me." Pouting Michael sat on the bumper, both men were quiet as they inspected the house. "Mikey, could you imagine us growing up here, hell could you picture your Mom living in a place like this?" 

"Yeah Right. This looks like one of those neighborhoods with all those rules. I could just see her arguing already. These People wouldn't know how to deal with Ma, her rainbow flags and big gay BBQ's." 

The garage door started to ascend. Thinking it was Justin, Brian stepped forward and came face to face with whom he assumed was Justin's father. Michael stood and moved back a few steps, the look they were receiving not the least bit encouraging. 

Craig stepped out of the garage advancing towards Brian. An amused expression on his face Brian lit up another cigarette. "Let me guess you two are both faggots as well?" Craig asked, voice low and harsh. 

Taking a drag off his cigarette Brian eyes turned hard, unwavering. "Well I know I enjoy buttfucking, rimming and the occasional reciprocal blowjob, you Mikey?"

"Brian.." Michael warned.

The front door opened revealing Justin who was carrying a duffel bag and had two large, black portfolio's hanging from his shoulder. He stopped abruptly when he seen Brian and his father facing off. 

"So, which one of you is fucking my son?" 

"Neither one of us." Michael replied quickly. He went to Justin and took the duffel bag from his hands. "I hope this is everything."

Brian kept his eyes level on the bastard in front of him. "Hmm...Mikey I wouldn't say that. When I first saw Justin I thought he had a hot ass. It might be too hard for me to control my deviant urges." he smiled at Craig.

Justin nodded to Michael. Nervously shifting the portfolio's he approached the men. Purposely avoiding eye contact with his dad he spoke only to Brian. "I have everything, we can leave. I'm sorry for him and whatever else he might have said."

"Wait just a damn minute."

"Dad just fucking stop okay?" Justin shouted. He wedged himself between the man filled with such anger and hatred, someone he wanted nothing to do with and Brian, someone he wanted everything to do with.

"You have some nerve bringing them here to MY house. Open your eyes Justin, didn't you just hear what he said? He's not even your age. He's a fucking pervert! Its-"

Feeling Brian's hand on his lower back, Justin drew strength from it and cut his father off. "Its what Dad? Disgusting? Unnatural? I could only hope someday Brian would want me, then I could show him just how tight my ass is!"

Michael eyes were huge as he observed Justin's fathers expression at his sons words. He didn't think he'd ever seen anyone as angry as this before. The man was practically shaking with rage. Michael switched over to Justin, his demeanor changing toward the younger man. He actually felt proud of Justin. Something clicked inside of Michael then, the sight of Brian behind Justin supporting him just like he had supported Michael through the years, as best friends. Seeing him with Justin though, things could be different. Michael knew if given the chance and being let inside and privy to the truth, Justin would be supportive and everything else to Brian.

Brian stood behind Justin ready to intervene if the situation got out of control. He didn't know how much help he'd be though with the huge hard-on his coat was concealing. After absorbing Justin's last words he wanted to throw him to the concrete and see if that ass was as tight as he said it was. 'That's great Kinney. Poor kid is going through some major family shit and all you can think about is sex.' Tuning back into the conversation, he noticed Craig's face getting darker and darker. Not liking where this was inevitably heading he whispered. "Come on Justin" and started walking backwards towards the jeep, his hand gripping Justin's coat. Brian and Michael both got in while Justin tried to arrange his portfolio's in the back seat.

Craig came up behind his son. "I hope you took everything. Anything left is getting thrown out." Justin just nodded mutely. "Oh and Justin, make sure you're really careful. You wouldn't want to have something unexpectedly happen to your hand. Then you wouldn't be able to draw those pretty little pictures anymore." his voice was filled with contempt.

Justin inhaled sharply, his face pale, a cold ache gripping his heart. Brian grabbed the door handle to rush out but Michael snatched his arm. Arranging the portfolio's one last time, Justin climbed in with them. Not caring if he ended up sitting on the fucking things, just wanting to get out of there. Craig went back inside the garage as the jeep pulled out and took off up the street. Justin never looked back, eyes blank as he stared ahead.


	3. Significant Secret

Authors Notes: I can guarantee the next chapter will be out quicker. Sorry I haven't updated this since June...Yikes! Bad bad me! Feedback is very very much appreciated! Thanks to my great Beta!!!!!

* * *

_"I came here by day, but I left here in darkness_  
And found you, found you on the way  
And now, it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold  
You, in somber resplendence, I hold" - A.F.I Silver & Cold 

 

 

Pulling the curtain to the side, Deb peered out onto the darkening street. Her warm breath fogged up the cool glass in front of her face. The thin pane seperated her from the cold snowy street, the one she had kept a vigil over for the past half and hour. 

"Sis will you come and sit down, you've been wearing the rug thin with your pacing" Vic called out, while drying a couple of the plates he had left soaking from lunch. Michael and Brian were sitting in front of him at the kitchen table, both finishing off the beers Deb had offered them when they had first arrived. 

"Looks like that cheap carpet from the 70's isn't holding up to well." Brian mumbled to Michael, who choked his laugh with semi-warm beer. Some escaping and through his throat ended up tickling the inside of his nose.

"He said he'd be home almost an hour ago...where is he?" she let the curtain swing back into place turning to head back into the kitchen. Her lips set into a tight line accept for the occasional lip tug between her teeth. Taking a seat at the table next to her son, her eyes instantly set on Brian. "Can't you go and look for him?"

"Am I getting paid to baby-sit him? No. He'll get here when he wants to Deb." taking a final taste from his bottle, Brian stood to throw it out. 

Studying his mother's worried face, Michael sighed. "Come on Brian maybe we should." 

"I wasn't aware the jeep turned yellow and started taking fare's Michael. I already cart your ass around. I'm not a fucking chauffer. Maybe I should forget about how fucking tired I am from the account I stayed up all night preparing for..."

"Who are you kidding? The only thing you prepare is a tight ass with a slick digit shove. So quit blowing smoke."

Vic turned his body away from Deb's hard stare and laughed quietly at Brian, whipping his towel at him. "Boy your in trouble now."

Tilting his head back, counting to ten and letting out a deep breath through his nose, Brian came forward and lifted his jacket off the back of the kitchen chair he had been sitting in. Bitter smile in place, he exited the kitchen and was walking through the living room when he heard Deb yell a thanks to him. 

"No problem, knowing you in another hour and his face would be on a fucking milk carton." Pulling his jacket on he opened the front door and stepped forward, the toe of his boot snagging something, propelling him forward. His hands immediately outstretched to stop him from falling; he grabbed the railing of the porch, stopping his own freefall.

Cursing under his breath he bent over and picked the messenger bag up from the cement, his eyes now wandering around the block for the owner. Down each step and almost to the street Brian saw a small puff of smoke coming from behind a tree in the neighbor's front yard. "Justin" he called out.

Blond hair peeked from behind the tree, Brian waited a minute to see if Justin would come to the house, seeing no movement his boots crunched on the snow as he came upon the tree. Another string of white smoke thinning in the winter breeze. Justin watched him with an amused and somewhat blank expression. 

Holding out the messenger bag which Justin curled his fingers around Brian asked "Booby trapping the front door so no one finds you?"

"Sorry"

"Please tell me you're not out here hiding your smoking addiction from Deb, you do know she's seen a hell of a lot worse right?" Brian stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black coat. Not really needing to do so but having to do something else with his hands; other than what he was thinking.

Justin's lips turned upwards slightly. "No nothing like that. It's just...I wanted to catch a breath before I have to go in there."

"Go in where? A torture chamber?"

"My mom was loving but not as..." He stopped trying to think of a word to describe Deb; a word that wouldn't seem insulting.

"Overbearing? Stifling?" Brian threw out there and Justin nodded.

"Yeah, sometimes I get kinda overwhelmed when I'm around Deb." 

"She's just protective, especially of those she takes under her wing. You're lucky."

"I know, I know. It just makes me wonder that a person who's fairly new to me, and also not even related, can take care of me more than my own parents."

"A lot of us have shitty parents, you just have to deal...in some ways it makes you stronger."

Silently agreeing on that subject the two men stood there, behind that tree, shoulders brushing. Brian pulled out his own pack of Marlboro's and lit one up taking a drag and releasing it in a slow exhale. The street was quiet, except for the occasional barking dog asking to be let in from the cold weather. A couple snowflakes drifted to the ground from the clouds above. Justin flicked his butt away to a mound of snow at his right. Shrugging his shoulders inside his jacket he tried to keep his neck warm from the biting wind that had picked up.

"Do you know the only good thing about this weather? It's ability to make you feel numb." 

Snorting the smoke from his last inhale through his nose, Brian smirked. "That's usually what twenty degrees does to someone." 

Taken aback by the listless expression on Justin's face, Brian became quiet. 

"That's on the outside. But also this weather it can make you feel numb inside to. The frigid weather cooling your skin. It makes me realize how cold I'm getting on the inside." Turning away he continued. "Not from the weather of course, but from other things. Though sometimes I know I'd welcome the cold if it'd just get deep inside and turn everything to ice, so I wouldn't have to feel."

"Feel what?"

Sharp blue eyes stared directly at Brian. "Feel anything, then maybe I wouldn't get hurt so much." A pause. "I mean my dad..." Justin stopped to look away. His eyes turning dull, his expression sullen. Brian edged closer blocking some of the wind that was playing with Justin's hair. Brian could hear the pain in his voice when Justin mumbled. "Forget it." And when he pushed off the tree to leave Brian got in front of him, stopping his retreat....a retreat back to the house and also the retreat back inside himself. 

"Something happen?" he hated asking knowing how hard it was for Justin to deal with whatever happened. He wanted to know.

"That's one of the reasons why I'm late getting home from the diner. After my shift my dad showed up."

"On Liberty Avenue?" 

"Yeah. I couldn't believe it was him at first. I thought maybe he was, I don't know, trying to understand how things were, that I was who I am. That was until he opened his fucking mouth saying how he couldn't believe I was working down there...just outing myself to everyone and thinking that my disgusting lifestyle was acceptable. What if one of his friends saw me?" 

"I don't think any of his friends would be down there."

"Shit, I'd love to see his face if they were. I just left him there in front of the diner, using the excuse that I had to go catch my bus." shaking his head. "I can't even stand up to him. He just kept yelling after me. Same old shit, I know I'm practically disowned...I don't know why he keeps threatening me with that." 

"I know your dad will never win any father of the year awards...ours are the same in that respect. But you shouldn't let him win by closing yourself off to everyone, Justin. That's no way to live."

Justin laughed and stepped around Brian and off the curb. Walking backwards to the middle of the street. He watched as Brian turned to follow his movements while lighting up another cigarette. "That's rich coming from you. Spouting this shit that must be so foreign to your own ears."

Tugging on the filter of the cigarette with a suction of his breath from between his lips, Brian raised an eyebrow and tried to think of how to answer the man in front of him. He decided his best bet was to play dumb, so he wouldn't get dragged into a long discussion about himself. Brian stepped closer to Justin and blew some smoke out. "What do you mean?"

"I've heard the stories Brian. One fuck only, no names...no nothing. If that's not hiding, if that's not being closed off than I don't know what is!" Running his bare fingers over a mound of snow a random plow truck left, Justin dipped his fingers deep into the icy snow and scooped some into his hand. Cupping it now with both hands, he passed the white ball back and forth until he was satisfied with the shape. 

Brian couldn't really argue his side, because that's exactly how his side was; since he had been old enough to comprehend what he was. 

Different. 

Except in his story, different wasn't just because he was gay but because he wasn't even fucking human. 

An object impacted with his left shoulder causing his newly lit cigarette to fall from his lips and become ruined by the snow at his feet. He studied the white slush of a shattered snowball as it slid down his leather jacket before he cut his eyes to the man hiding his huge grin behind a wet hand. "Um...What the fuck?"

"I wanted to wipe that serious look off your face, we're becoming too cynical out here."

"It might get worse, that was my last cigarette." Bending down he began to mirror Justin's actions. Both men now scooping up some snow and watching each other, two pairs of eyes shining with devilish intent. Brian stepped out onto the street, advancing. "You know, paybacks are a bitch right?"

Letting loose a laugh, Justin backed up. "I don't think I have anything to worry about; having youth on my side and all." 

Feigning anger with a harsh look Brian launched his snowball. Justin ducked then threw his own. Curses from some direct hits, squeaky rubber soles of wet sneakers and sounds of boots crunching over packed snow during chase, sounded for the next twenty minutes until Justin tried calling a truce by hiding behind a black truck and puffing on the frigid air which he hoped would calm his racing heart. 

"Youth huh?" was shouted from up the street. 

Looking around the bumper Justin pulled back quickly as another snowball whizzed by his head. "Come on!" Clasping his shaking hands together he blew into them before pulling them up into his sleeves. Watching the snow drift down in front of the streetlamp his thoughts began to wander. Riding on the cramped bus Justin thought there was no way his day could have redeemed itself. A brief throwback to childhood antics had proved him wrong. Forgetting his chilled skin and wet ass Justin lifted his lips, sharing his smile with the side of the truck. 

"Brian?" he called out. After a few minutes of silence and no return answer he stood craning his neck to watch for incoming balls of snow.

Emerging from around the back of the truck, Justin eyed the trees lining the sidewalk. He couldn't see any movement from anywhere. Everything was silent and still, except for the falling snow. 

Thinking maybe Brian had went back inside to warm up Justin started towards Debbie's house. Shrinking deeper into his coat and blowing away a stray snowflake, which had landed on his nose, he made it to the front yard before he was tackled onto his side. Landing in a drift, the snow sunk under their combined weight. Long fingered hands gripped Justin's shoulders and turned him to his back, a pad of a thumb caressing the side of his neck.

"Fuck Brian!" he laughed, half his face covered in snow, licking his lips he drew some into his mouth. 

Feeling gentle brushing, the cold lightness disappeared from his face. Justin blinked and focusing on deep hazel eyes returning the stare he was being given. Forcing his hand between them he tugged at the fabric of Brian's shirt until his fingers came in contact with warm flesh. 

Brian hissed at the frigid fingers, his stomach muscles clenching at the touch. "Christ!"

Justin smirked. "I'm cold" Squeezing both hands below the waistband of Brian's pants, his index fingers started stroking the man's lower stomach while the others stayed still and collected some warmth. "At least now my hands are warming up." Brian flicked his eyes downward then back up at Justin. Feeling smooth fingers on the downward sweep and then Justin's nails as he dragged them back up. Fingers going deeper until they found pubic hair and stilled.

"Definitely warmer now." Justin whispered watching Brian's reaction.

Brian blinked slowly, his mouth opening slightly. He was about to devour Justin's lips when he noticed them trembling; Justin's teeth chattering behind them. "Give me your hands." He spoke softly. 

Justin shook his head no. "I think they like where they are." A solo finger trailing through the coarse hair below.

Brian conceded. "Well, give me one of them then." 

After a minute Justin offered his right hand, Brian immediately lacing his left with it. Holding their hands away to the side but still between them, Brian reached his other hand around and lifted Justin's head out of the snow, his fingers diving between the wet locks. Their noses bumped at the closeness. Justin moved his mouth forward but Brian pulled back wanting to concentrate on getting Justin's body heat raised by using his own. 

Breathing each other's breaths Justin spoke finally. "Your a fucking furnace." 

"Well look where you have your hand." Pressing his hips down he rocked them upward, Justin's hand sliding further down, fingertips just grazing Brian's erection. 

"Seriously I feel like I'm going to pass out." Seeing the redness that was invading Justin's cheeks, Brian loosened his hand from Justin's. Breaking their internal connection, one Justin wasn't even aware of. 

"Not if I can help it." Brian tilted his head and lowered it, smashing their mouths together. Their lips parting, tongues seeking. Frenzied and urgent they battled each other until Justin won out as he gripped Brian's cock. Brian's tongue stilled at that very moment and Justin drove his forward, passed two set of lips until it found a new home. The feel of Justin inside his mouth, the taste of him on his tongue and the scent of him and winter mixing together overcame Brians senses and he grunted. Justin answering back with a moan from his throat and a quickening of his hand.

"Hey you two!!"

Brian raised his head, lips breaking apart from Justin's, to find a smirking Deb who was standing out on the porch. Justin tilted his head back and smiled shyly from upside-down.

"Unless you want to be like that kid in A Christmas Story and end up stuck together I suggest you two knock it off and get inside. We're holding dinner for you two." Folding her arms over her chest she turned serious "Move it!"

Feeling Brian shift his weight Justin ran his thumb over the slit of Brian's dick one last time. Brian lowered back down upon Justin getting ready to continue with what they had been doing. Deb stood staring until she whistled loudly.

"Damnit" Pulling his arm out from underneath Justin and releasing his hand Brian sighed. "Lets go before the other two get out here."

Justin retracted his hand and Brian hoisted his weight with a grunt and stood, Justin getting up a second later. Both of them brushing the snow from their clothes.

"In that movie I think the kid became attached to a pole Deb."

Crossing her arms she turned and shouted over her shoulder. "Yeah and I bet you two are sporting pole's of your own...Let's go, my tit's are about to freeze off!" She left the door open a crack, knowing they'd follow.

 

As they entered and removed their coats, the three occupants of the kitchen smiled knowingly at them. 

Justin blushed, apologizing for keeping them waiting then he rushed up the stairs to go change. Brian continued on towards the kitchen and leaned against the wall. "Thanks for the interruption."

Deb started to set out the dinner plates."I don't want that kid catching cold just so you can get your rocks off. Now your pants must be wet, do you want to use the dryer?"

Rolling his eyes Brian ran his palms over both legs, his Armani pants drying immediately. "Who needs a silly dryer?"

"Oh excuse me for offering. Dickhead." Bringing the lasagna from the counter she set it center. Taking a seat she started cutting and dishing it out. Brian held out his plate and once filled took a seat himself.

"Ma, my lasagna's not warm enough."

"Well you see that big appliance over there? Go stick it in and see what happens!"

"Ma..." 

"Shit not that voice, give it to me." Brian held the plate that Mikey slid to him and placed his other hand over it. 

Pulling a different, warmer sweater over his head Justin came down the stairs his feet making no noise as he approached from behind. Brian oblivious since he had done this thousands of time before here and elsewhere, mostly though when no one was around. The cheese in the lasagna melted more around the layer of pasta and sauce and Brian smiled triumphantly. Glancing at Michael he frowned when he seen the look and the color of his friends face, eyes going to somewhere behind him. Michael snatched the plate quickly away and started eating, shoving a forkful in his mouth. Deb and Vic exchanged looks and then both bent their heads. 

"What was that?" Justin asked pulling out the chair to the left of Brian. Startled by the way Brian's head snapped up. "Is something wrong?"

Deb took a sip of her water and then scraping her fork around her plate, she answered with a quick "No nothing honey, have some dinner now." 

Slicing his own piece out of the glassware, Justin placed it on one of Deb's decorative plates and plopped himself down. "What was that thing with your hand?" he motioned to Michael's plate with a wave of his own fork.

"Huh?"

Vic bit his lip.

"Let me guess you were doing that warming trick with your hands again right?" Laughing at their inside joke his smile faded as he watched Brian's face go from slightly fearful to stone faced. 

"Warming trick?" Deb questioned.

Brian's threw his fork on the table in front of him. "Christ, Are you the fucking food Gestapo? Would you like to instruct me on how to eat? Or perhaps show us the proper way to fucking fold a god damn napkin?" he nodded his head in mock eagerness. "Your such a wonderful artist, are you an instructor on the fine arts of dining as well?"

At Brian's outburst, the occupants of the table had all stopped in mid motion of whatever they were doing. Vic's glass halfway to his mouth, Michael's jaw stopped chewing. Deb just sitting there, her face drawn and worried. Justin however pushed his chair back and stood. Hanging over Brian's shoulder. 

"Well first you cut your food into huge pieces." Justin demonstrated. Brian's scowl deepening. Justin stabbed a piece of the pasta and held it up for Brian. "Then you take a big bite, don't chew and..." pausing until their eyes met, he yelled "FUCKING CHOKE ON IT!" Throwing the utensil down on Brian's plate Justin stomped out of the room and up the stairs. The slamming of his door resounding down to the people below.

"Brian, geezus christ!" Deb whispered frantically. "You have to be careful."

"No, he wouldn't if he'd just tell Justin."

"What?" Mother & son identically shrieked.

"I know I can't be the only one that thinks I could trust that kid, with my very life. Or yours." Vic pointedly stared at Brian until Brian looked away, turning in his seat to face the way Justin just left.

"I think I'm going to have indigestion, no wait, I feel like I'm going to throw up." Michael complained, pushing his plate away. 

Deb went to follow Justin but turned back to the table and started clearing everyone's semi-full plates. "Well it wasn't my cooking, it's your fucking friend over here." a few minutes later the sound of a fork noisily hitting the plates as Deb scraped their dinner into the garbage was heard.

"It's better this way...he's just a kid. One slip and Brian would be fucked!"

"Calm the theatrics honey, Brian is perfectly safe." Deb reassured.

"You know this way isn't much better, Brian shouldn't hide himself from family."

"Emmett and Ted don't even know for christ sakes Vic! We should tell them before Justin."

Brian shoved his chair back with his feet. "Well you three will make sure and call me when you decide about MY life, won't you?" Pulling his keys out of his pocket he made his way to the door and snagged his coat off the hook. Pulling one sleeve on and then the other he zipped it shut all the while his eyes roamed the stairs, up each step and to the darkness of the second floor. 

Exiting, he thought how ironic it was that he was now the one retreating.


	4. Significant Secret

~Thanks to my wonderful Beta! Any other mistakes in this are my own. Next Chapter out soon, its written!

* * *

**"Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything.  
Or were you sent to save me?" - A.F.I**

 

Pushing through the sweat soaked, drunk and likely high men that were grinding to the throbbing beat, Justin made his way to the bar. He hoped to be joining them in a short time. Hoping to lose himself for a couple of hours. Hours that seemed to always end way too soon. Ordering a shot of Liquid Cocaine he stood there stone-faced while the bartender assessed him, finally shrugging and then mixing the drink. He grabbed it before the bartender had even released it, throwing it back. Loving the feeling of the peppermint in his nose and the burn in his throat. Turning, he searched through the dancing throng on the floor and the people on the catwalk, his eyes finally settling on a supplier in one of the darkened places of the club. Heading in that direction he was stopped by someone tapping him on the shoulder. 

"Hey Sweetie!" Em shouted.

Splitting his attention between Em and the dealer, so he wouldn't lose him, his mouth lifted into a loose smile. "Hey"

"Oh My God! What happened?" Em shrieked, raising his hand towards the blackening semi puffy left eye that was marring Justin's otherwise perfect skin.

Justin frowned, this was exactly the reason he was here, to forget about that. "It's nothing-" he said turning his head to his good side before Emmett could make contact. "It's an early Christmas present!" he yelled, his peripheral vision picking up the movement of the dealer. "I got to go, time to fuck." wanting to ease the worry in Emmett's eyes, Justin tried to smile but it showed as a grimace.

"Top or bottom tonight?" Emmett asked, the glances from the blond to Babylon's top-notch supplier not evading him.

"Definately a top tonight, I'm sick of being abused." Making eye contact with Marco Justin left Emmett by the bar and quickly passed by the backroom not noticing Brian, emerging from the darkened hallway, zipping up. Seeing the blond head whip by him Brian instantly began tracking Justin's movements.

Coming to stand at the side of a dark haired man, Justin leaned over and spoke into his ear. "Hey Marco! Tell me you got good shit man."

"All my shit is good." Marco replied, getting a doubtful look in return. "Okay, okay but tonight's stash has got to be the best it's been in weeks." Marco waved a hand around to indicate the crowd. "Ten out of ten twinks agree, now what's your pleasure?"

Justin pulled out some money. "Give me a couple tabs of E and some happy dust." 

Marco pulled out the E but hesitated with the white powder. "Are you sure?"

"It's what I asked for isn't it? What do you care?"

Honestly, Marco didn't. With as much shit as he handed out he was probably responsible for his share of addictions and   
OD's. It came with the territory. He couldn't get swept up with feelings for the poor junkies that hounded him continuously. But Justin, though the conversations they've had were few, he was decent enough, just a visitor, not someone that would live and die for the club scene. He didn't want to be responsible for getting him hooked.

Agitated at how much time was passing, Justin grabbed the tabs and vile and threw the money at him. "Don't go turning into some drug counselor, next time I'll just get it from someone else." he stalked off getting lost in the sea of flesh, leaving Marco to look after him until he became distracted by a husky offer in his ear.

Up on the darkest part of the catwalk, Brian stood watching as Justin placed something in his mouth and started to dance in the middle of the floor. Men surrounding him and appraising the young man that had joined them. Though Justin remained oblivious as he danced alone, head thrown back, hips swaying as he waited for the E to kick in. 

¤

 

Songs flowing from one into the other as Justin lost himself. He pulled at the neck of his shirt before his hands stroked down his chest to tug at the bottom of it, lifting the drenched fabric over his head and throwing it to the floor. Licking his lips and forcing his hands through his sweat slicked hair he kept one arm suspended there while the other trailed down, fingers crawling past his neck then circling his chest until it continued down his stomach.

About to stroke himself through his cargo's his hand was snatched by another and brought to a hairy chest. Lifting his lids into a squint, his vision blurry until he blinked some more. He began pulling away until the intruders other hand circled his waist and dropped down to grip his ass. 

"Come on, Buttercup, it looks like you enjoy it rough." the man released Justin's hand to run a finger along Justin's black eye. 

Turning his head immediately Justin pushed off the man's chest and tried turning away but was snagged at his elbow and was twirled back around before being yanked flush with the man again. The man licked his lips as he shoved both of his hands aggressively down the back of Justin's pants to grope his ass.

Feeling relaxed and euphoric only moments before he now felt tense and angry, his memories from earlier that day breaking through again and now being manhandled by a bear adding to it. "Ease the fuck off." Justin shouted over the music. Shoving off as the man held tight, a finger trying to pry between Justin's ass cheeks.

"You're right-" he let go completely."Let's take this to the backroom." Reaching out he took Justin's wrist and began guiding him through the crowd.

"That wasn't a fucking invite asshole!" Planting his feet he stopped, jerking his wrist free.

"Don't play hard to get you fucking cocktease." he growled into Justin's face before reaching out again. A shoulder came from out of nowhere and slammed into him, knocking the larger man off to the side. 

Brian stepped between them, his eyes dark and brutal. "Any part of you that touches him again, you're not getting back." 

The man glared beyond Brian's shoulder to where Justin stood. Thinking he didn't get his message across Brian stepped forward looking into the man's eyes. Feeling a pull to the back of his shirt Brian glanced back staring at Justin for a moment before turning back.

"Brian, don't." Justin warned.

Unnerved by Brian's unwavering stance and stare, the man stepped back retreating, beyond some men who had stopped dancing to watch the show, until he was out of sight. Turning to face Justin, Brian was surprised to see his bare back as Justin shouldered through the crowd. Struggling to pull his shirt out from under dancing feet Justin finally succeeded and put it on when he felt a touch to his arm. 

Ignoring the touch and heading in the direction of the bar the lights from the strobe played over the side of Justin's face as he shouted over his shoulder. "You did your good deed for the day, now shove it up your ass and fuck off!" Hoping to make it to the bar and heighten his alcohol level Justin could still feel Brian behind him knowing his hard words wouldn't deter the other man.

"Damnit Justin!" Wrapping his fingers around the smooth skin of Justin's upper arm, Brian led him over to the stairs. Letting go as they both ducked underneath. 

In the darkness as the colors played around them, Brian watched Justin's eyes flit across the room before settling on him. 

Brian's features darkened. "What happened?" he asked, assessing the discolored eye.

"I walked into a fucking door." Justin said, moving now to abandon their spot. "Now that your curiosity's been eased, we're done." 

Rapidly blocking his exit and nearly banging his head on the steps above them, Brian squinted his eyes and stared the other man down. "Stealing a page from the battered wives handbook are we?"

Justin smirked, "Chapter four."

Feeling the tension ease between them Brian reached out to cup Justin's cheek lightly. He ran his thumb over the outer ring of the harsh mark, caressing his cheek with the other fingers. Raising his eyes from the bruising, Brian watched Justin as he blinked slowly and sighed, hesitating before finally meeting the hazel stare.

Wanting to relieve the worried look in the eyes before him, Justin pulled Brian closer by placing an arm on his shoulder and taking hold of the hand stroking his face. "Stop with those troubled thoughts, its nothing okay?" Running his hand up the back of Brian's hair and down again Justin smiled while rising up with a quick reassuring kiss. Pulling his mouth back Justin kept his forehead against Brian's and whispered to him. "See, fine." 

Exchanging breaths for a moment, Brian boosted his chin to rub their noses together, then higher his lips ending up on Justin's forehead. Justin's breath warm upon his neck as he spoke, "Let's try and have some fun." and pulling away, he meant to leave but Brian grabbed hold of his shirt tugging Justin back so that their bodies were flush once more. Cupping both of Justin's cheeks Brian lowered his mouth to reciprocate the kiss Justin gave him moments before. However, Justin wasted no time initiating a deeper kiss by opening his mouth and sliding his tongue along Brian's lower lip until he felt it being accepted with a touch of his own tongue, drawing them both inside his mouth. 

Both of them started to feel lightheaded not aware that somewhere deep inside a connection had been made.

•

~Flash~

*Justin picking up his first set of crayons and beginning to draw with a purpose. His face so serious on what he was creating, the hours just disappeared.*

*His mother helping a little girl up after a bike fall. Inviting her to sit on the lawn beside Justin who was drawing as she went inside for a Band-Aid. Both of them shy at first but giggling with laughter by the time his mother returned*

*Teasing, Taunting, Shoving. Justin's usual day at his High School*

*Justin's first day at PIFA. Feelings of freedom, acceptance, happiness.*

*Justin being turned around not having time to react to a fist colliding with his face. Justin looking up and his father standing above him.*

•

For Justin though the flashes were completely different. Dark and Grainy. Most unintelligible except for a few.

~Flash~

*A 180 degree view of a tiny planet, a world so beautiful, Justin couldn't come up with the words to describe it in the few seconds he glimpsed it. He could feel the sadness though as the planet got further away. It was overwhelming.*

*The rings around Saturn so close he felt if he reached out he could touch them.*

*A breathtaking view of Earth. Speeding towards it.. the jolt from crossing into the Earth's hemisphere and finally the impact upon the ground. Deadly to all but a couple.*

*Brian in his teens being dragged up by the hair and shoved outside, told not to come back until he cut the grass.*

*A pretty blonde woman smiling at him.*

•

Pulling apart at the same time they both sucking in the hot club air. Eyes wide and focused on each other.

"Holy Shit, that was intense!" Justin whispered, a blush rising up his neck and settling in his cheeks. His gaze drifting back and forth between Brian's mouth and eyes. 

Uneasy with Justin's stare Brian looked away and closed his eyes, recalling what he had just seen. Wondering if the memories had actually happened. Confusion and fear crept up his spine. What if Justin had seen something? Bringing his own questioning eyes to Justin he found the look mirrored back right at him. 

Shit.

Averting his eyes first, Justin laughed nervously. "That was weird. You literally made me see stars."

"Come again?" Brian could almost feel the color draining from his face. 

"I just had this totally insane astronomy lesson. Complete with a spaceship." Stopping, he reached his hand towards Brian's face. "Hey are you okay?"

Stepping back from the seeking fingers, Brian laughed, the sound hollow. "Yeah...Yeah. I have to go. Thanks for the - Whatever." He turned away and shouldered through the crowd not stopping at his name being shouted behind him. Grabbing his coat from the coat check he found his way to the exit and burst through the doors. Trembling from the exchange and the cold air he pulled out a cigarette, lit it and took a slow drag, hoping to calm himself. He was almost to the jeep when he heard Justin calling out to him again. He looked over his shoulder and then stopped. Cursing at his feet for halting when his mind was screaming to get away. 

Justin ran up to him his coat doing nothing to keep the chill from his skin. He zipped the front then stuffed his hands into his pockets and burrowed himself deeper before speaking. "I didn't mean to get all weird in there, I'm sorry. It must be the shit I'm on. I popped something before you found me."

"Go back inside, Justin." 

"No, not until you tell me why you're so freaked out. Brian what the fuck was that back there?" 

Rolling his shoulders inside his leather jacket Brian threw his butt away before steeling his eyes. Speaking harshly, "Look, obviously you've taken to much of whatever it is you're on. To think I'm freaking out over you or to think I actually give a fuck. It's not healthy to develop a chemical dependency. Next thing you know you're some drugged out twink getting his ass worked over. Not knowing whose dick you have in your ass at any given time. Not very becoming." 

Shaking his head Justin backed away. "Fuck you! You're a real cocksucker you know that!" 

"Yes I am. Unfortunately for you you'll never get to experience my wonderful ability." Finding his car keys in his pocket he turned his back on Justin and continued to his jeep. Getting in he put the key in the ignition, gunned the engine and drove away. Justin's reflection getting smaller and smaller in his side window. Glancing at the dash clock. 2am. He turned the radio on trying to forget about his thoughts. 

"Who gives a fuck how he gets home." he whispered. 

Minutes passed and then releasing an angry breath he turned the wheel, the jeep U-turning back towards Liberty.

¤ 

"Fucking Brian, Fucking buses, Fucking snow!" Justin yelled as the flurries blew around him. 

"Need a ride?" Justin had heard the car pulling up alongside him but chose to ignore it not thinking Brian would actually come back. After the question was repeated Justin turned his head while keeping his stride. "Are you fucking kidding me?" 

Brian smirked. "Come on." he cocked his head, waiting. Justin looked incredulous for a moment before flipping him the bird and treading on up the street. Laughing, Brian shifted gears following along the curb, honking his horn. "It's really warm in here." he taunted. Driving with one hand he licked his finger and stuck it out the window. The frigid air cooling the digit immediately. "It feels kinda cold out there." 

Justin stopped. "Okay I can't be the only one that thinks you're a tad bit completely certifiable. Am I?" he asked and when Brian didn't offer an answer Justin finished. "I feel like I'm being ping-ponged between your fucking personalities."

"Well how about for the time being you agree with this personality and get in the fucking car?"

Justin sighed then slid into the warmth.

 

¤

The ride back to Deb’s was slow due to the fact that the snow was becoming heavier. The silence between them even more so. The heat filtering from the dashboard the only sound heard.

When the jeep came to a stop Justin had his hand poised on the door handle, ready to get out. He offered no parting words, pulling the handle toward him, he felt Brian's weight against his side as the man leaned over and pushed the button down, locking him inside.

"Well this is a foreign feeling, I think I'm feeling apologetic."

Justin snorted. "You, sorry? This coming from the man with the whole..." he lowered his voice to a gruff timbre. " 'Sorry is Bullshit' mantra."

"Maybe I'm not feeling verbally apologetic, but physically-" 

Justin fell back as his seat was reclined. He heard the fast lowering of his zipper rather than feeling it. His whole body still until Brian's hand moved inside. Long, lean fingers beginning to stroke Justin's dick. Justin panted, urging the hand to work faster. Pulling a lip between his teeth Justin lifted his hips when he felt the tugging of denim across his thighs, Brian pooling the jeans around his knees. Dark eyes took in his every reaction, a lazy smile spreading at every intake of breath. 

When the need for contact with Justin's lips overcame his need to study the face before him, Brian shifted forward and began to devour Justin's mouth. Catching him off guard and in the middle of a gasp Brian shoved his tongue past the plump lips he had gotten lost in earlier that night. Sliding along Justin's tongue with his own, he felt the tremor run through Justin's body as he ran his finger along the head of Justin's cock. Running along the slick hole, he fingered the precum. Brian pulled away and waited for Justin to meet his gaze. When dark blue locked with hazel, Brian brought his finger to his mouth and sucked the wetness from it. Smirking at Justin's flushed face, Brian went to kiss him again but quickly dropped his head and deep throated the hard dick instead. 

Justin's head slammed against the headrest, his hips trying to lift, trying to push deeper into the hot wet mouth that was suddenly around him. He could feel breath escaping from Brian's nose in his pubes as the man going down on him licked his way back up before descending again. Taking hold of the brunett hair Justin groaned, Brian's tongue raising and hitting that spot at the underside of his dick. The mushroom'd head hitting the back of Brian's throat for the third time brought Justin to his orgasm. His back arching from the lowered seat, hands gripping tighter. Panting the name of the man whose tongue was still licking and tasting every bit Justin released. Opening his eyes he smiled shyly at Brian, then tentatively butting their noses together until Brian came the rest of the way and they kissed again. Tenderly, Brian's tongue making another thorough sweep of his mouth. 

They came apart; Brian going back to his own seat, turning the key in the ignition. Justin pulling his jeans back on and closing his coat. The button shot up out of the door and Justin took this as his cue to leave. Pushing the door open he looked back. "Later." he whispered, receiving a crooked grin in return.

Brian waited until Justin reached the porch before inching forward. When Justin was finally inside he sped up the street and turned the corner.

¤

 

The next morning, sitting in shock on the front stoop, Craig didn't give a second thought to his business clothes that were collecting dirt. 

All four tires on his BMW had been deflated. Upon further inspection he found the undercarriage of his car completely melted into the ground.


	5. Significant Secret

The Diner - 11:04am

 

Trying to keep up with the conversation he had going with Emmett, Michael could feel the stare that had been on them since they had come to the diner thirty minutes ago. Giving up with a loud exhale of breath he flicked at the newspaper that was being held up across the table with his finger. "Why don't you go put Justin out of his misery?"

Keeping the newspaper directly in front of his face, Brian skimmed the rest of the article before he answered. "What are you complaining about?"

Wiping the corners of his mouth with his napkin Emmett smirked while studying Justin who was trying to be covert with his glances toward their table. "He sure is cute. Kinda like a gay man's very own Lolita...I guess I'm not old enough for him," he hid his smile as Brian curved his newspaper down to reveal his bland stare.

"I'm trying to eat. Go fuck him in the bathroom already."

Brian took a sip of his coffee and then responded, "You're seeing things Mikey."

Michael dropped his fork and narrowed his eyes. "You've had him already, haven't you?"

"Michael, sweetie, they haven't fucked yet. Look at the clues. Brian is sitting here face blank, nonchalant. Which is really nothing new. While Justin is acting like he's in heat." Emmett clapped his hands together. "You threw him a bone didn't you? Or should I say a boner! Come on what did you do to encourage him? Hand job? Blowjob?"

"Emmett why don't you ever pick up anything useful...like Trench mouth?"

"You never give a girl any gossip!" he huffed. "Fine. Change of subject. Justin!" Emmett called out. "Sweetie, what do you think about a guy with a navel piercing?"

"Hang on a second," Justin zipped by Emmett to a table near the front window. On the approach he heard "Why did you even bring me here? Christ do you know what part of town this is?" and the reply "Yeah so what, at least here I know none of your loser friends will get in the middle of this. Now, I want my money." A bit troubled by the last statement, Justin almost dropped the coffee cup and plate of food he was about to set in front of the men the voices belonged to. They looked up, gave him the once over, then dismissed him with a "Get Lost."

Leaving as instructed he glanced back once with a worried expression before focusing his attention on Emmett. He called out while walking behind the counter. "Well do you have any inny or an outtie?" Emmett stood and raised his shirt. The sight of uncovered skin started off a round of catcalls. Basking in the attention Emmett gave a little wave and lifted his shirt higher. Michael and Brian both rolled their eyes in sync and went back to their distractions. Laughing, Justin grabbed a coffee pot and went to their booth. He filled their cups. "Honestly I don't think you'd have a problem, it'll look hot."

Emmett sat back down. "I wonder if it'll hurt."

Justin shrugged, "Well it depends on your tolerance of pain."

Flipping to the next page in his newspaper, Brian tried to control his laughter, "Oh, he has a high tolerance alright." 

Emmett stared at Brian, no amusement visible on his face. "Look I only got that dildo up their once, the doctor said I was lucky things didn't tear more than they did." Looking back to Justin, "You would think people would be more sympathetic to someone having to learn by their sexual mistakes."

"I don't think Brian's had any 'sexual mistakes'," Justin set the coffee down and nudged at Brian's shoulder, indicating for him to slide over, which he did. 

"Well don't be to sure there was this one time..." A sharp pain came to Michael's leg. Choking on a piece of toast he raised his eyes to find Brian frowning at him. Michael mumbled "long story, I'll tell you later," before looking away.

"Anyways, when I got pierced it didn't hurt..." Justin started.

Brian's head turned, interupting him quickly, "You don't have anything pierced."

"Yes I do, you just never found it that night in your jeep," he wiggled his eyebrows and got up quick, snatching the coffee pot while missing the tanned fingers swinging towards his ass. 

Emmett's mouth hung open, "Okay back to the old subject! What's this about you two in a jeep?" Emmett and Michael both waited with rapt attention.

Justin pretended not to hear the biting,"You Fucker."

"Order up." He went and took another food-covered plate back to the booth at the front, also seeing if he could get them anything else. Met with, "Yeah, you the fuck out of here," he fought the urge to throw the food in the gruffer man's lap. Going back toward the counter he shrugged to Brian who had been watching the interchange.

"I should lend Justin that dildo so he can shove it up their asses, but I have to get going," Emmett pulled on his coat. "Michael if you pry any of that story out of Brian, call me ASAP." Wrapping his scarf around his throat he jokingly looked at Brian. "Brian I'd say its been fun but why lie. See ya's." Brian smirked, grabbed a fry off Michael's plate to throw it at Emmett's retreating back but popped it into his mouth instead. Michael started in again about him and Justin in the jeep. 

"My lips are sealed, sorry Mikey."

"Yeah I'm really sure they were sealed that night too, but you have to give me something or Em will never let it drop." 

Shouting caused both men and everyone else to turn their heads toward its cause. Deb turned from the cook, squinting a bit to see what was happening. "Hey, you two! Take it outside." she shouted. Completely ignoring her, the two men continued to argue. A glint of sunlight shining off of something metal; it didn't register with anyone until the man pulled the gun out more, it now completely visible. Thrusting it toward the other man, who reached out to grab onto it. The two stumbled around, arms intertwining.

Someone cried "Gun," and the whole diner made a dive toward the floor. Michael ducked underneath the table while Brian still seated, bent down, his upper body lying against the booth's seat. Making eye contact with Michael he tried to assure him without saying anything that things would be okay. 

Raising his head the same time the gun went off, Brian flinched. 

He thought he saw Justin duck at that same moment, but that would be foolish. Why wouldn't he have gone down when everyone else did? 

Under the table Michael had jumped toward Brian and now had his arm in a vicelike grip.

Shocked and startled that the gun had gone off, the two strangers stopped their struggling. Unsure of who pulled the trigger, they both looked around and then ran out quickly.

"Mikey?" Brian pulled his arm, but Michael still hung on. His fingers digging into Brian's flesh "Michael! Let the fuck go!" he yanked his arm again, Michael not letting go until the last minute. The momentum had Brian's arm slamming into the back of the seat. "Fuck!"

"Brian, you all right?" he heard Deb asking frantically. 

"Yeah just fine," he offered through gritted teeth, beginning to rub his elbow as Michael climbed up off the floor.

Raising herself from behind the counter in front of the chef's window Deb peered over the edge. She had heard the tinkling of the bells knowing the men had fled.

"Ma, are you okay?" Michael asked, starting to exit the booth until she waved to him. 

"Yeah I'm fine, fine...crazy assholes," she surveyed the diner. Everyone seemed shaken but all right non-the-less. 

A quick intake of breath from behind the counter averted her eyes. "Sunshine?" she whispered, not having to see but somehow already knowing. She rushed around the rest of the counter, moving only a couple of steps. Her eyes tearing up immediately, her lips parting in shock. 

"No!" she breathed heavily, grabbing a dishtowel and falling to her knees behind Justin. 

Justin lay there, slightly shaking, breath irregular, trying to assure himself he was fine, that his fingers, which were pressing into his stomach, weren't warm or wet. That the substance he could somewhat see while lying on his side wasn't red, wasn't pooling on the floor and wasn't his. Deb's voice came to him and the reality of the situation found him down behind that counter, on the dirty tiling. He gripped his stomach tighter, squeezing his eyes shut at the pain.

Deb placed her hands on his shoulder, gently rolling him onto his back. "Sunshine?" she moved his hands a bit and pushed the rag over the blood that covered his shirt and the hole it was spilling out of. 

Justin opened his eyes again, blinking them. Tears began slipping out to disappear into his hairline. Breathing in a shaky breath he gave Deb a weak smile. "I always told my dad I'd be bad at sports," Justin paused to push through the pain with a grimace. "I was always uncoordinated, shit reflexes, guess this proves it," his lips trembled.

Not knowing what else to do she brushed the blond hair off his forehead and whispered to him. "Try not to talk," her eyes were burning with tears as she called out, "Someone call an ambulance!" 

¤

Brian pulled at his tie, which felt strangling all of a sudden. Hearing Deb he turned his eyes to the counter thinking she was hurt but found a sneaker that was vertical and partially hidden by the bottom of the counter. Out of his seat in a second, he half heard Deb's "It's going to be okay sweetie." before he was stepping off to the side of Justin, crouching down into the cramped lane. Deb looked up at him stricken and he placed a hand on her arm moving lower until he took over the task of keeping the wound covered. 

"Justin?" 

Hearing his name he struggled through the haze of pain and darkness and opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. Brian's eyes, a myriads of emotion, stared back at him. "Brian," Justin whispered, wanting to smile up at the man but his mouth just shaking instead.

With his free hand Brian thumbed at the tears that were on Justin's face. Feeling a tug somewhere inside of him, a small numbing tingle. Brians sight blacked out for a second before it came back.

What the fuck was that?

It felt like his mind was disconnecting and pulling toward something unknown. Righting itself back into place before he could give into it. But, give into what?

Taking hold of Brian's forearm Justin tried to speak but a finger slid over his lips. "Shhhh, it's going to be okay," Brian reassured.

"Where the fuck is that ambulance?" Deb asked.

"Brian...I just...I..." 

Trying to quiet Justin's obvious distress, Brian took hold of the blond's free hand and laced their fingers, squeezing gently. Closing his eyes Justin had a hard time reopening them, his eyelids feeling weighted down. Finally locking eyes back with Brian he called out the man's name one last time, his gaze clear and determined.

Brian never heard anything as painfully beautiful as Justin's voice. Seeing the emotions in the blue eyes, a panic coursed through him, before he was assaulted with images from Justin's mind. Ever single encounter they had together and everything Justin had felt while seeing him or being with him. Sporadic thoughts ended and the tension returned. Something was terribly wrong and then Brian knew. Justin's gaze faltered and he looked away, somewhere beyond Brian's shoulder. His eyes still, seeing but then again not. 

Justin's grip eased a bit, his fingers slipping to Brian's wrist, leaving bloody prints on his white button down. His watery blue eyes moved slowly to Deb, who was hovering above him, then back again to Brian. They were saying things back and forth to one another. Justin could see their lips moving but he couldn't really hear their voices. Closing his eyes he could feel his fingers loosening from around Brian's skin, having no energy to give more of an effort. Deb's panic filled words, Brian's breathing, all sounded far away and low toned. 

"Damnit Justin!" Brian ripped the towel away from Justin's stomach. Pulling his shirt up, the wound gaped, blood pouring unblocked. A sound of anguish came from Brian's throat. Pressing his hand to the slippery skin Brian felt his mind trying to connect to something. 

Realization struck. 

He had felt this tingle before, long ago. When his father had beaten him and the pain had been too much, he would concentrate and these same feelings would pass through him. They were on the smaller level though than what was happening now. He cleared his thoughts and bent lower, his nose almost touching Justin's.

"Justin..." he whispered bringing his free hand up to skim across the pale cheek.

"Justin!" not harsh but more forceful, Brian knowing time was leaving them. "You have to look at me..." he waited. His voice softening, "Sunshine, you have to look at me." 

 

Justin's lids fluttered, revealing slivers of his pained blue eyes. Brian applied more pressure and opened his mind.


	6. Chapter 7

**"Weightless,**  
Endless,  
Faithless, I'll adore you.  
A single touch, before I fade. Painless let me pass through." - A.F.I

 

 

The connection to Justin had been almost instantaneous as soon as Justin had found the strength to meet Brian's eyes.

The sensations of labored breathing, a slow beating heart and the blood rushing in his ears made Brian aware of the connection he and Justin were now sharing. Taking a quick breath Brian concentrated on the wound, not prepared for the pulse of pain that throbbed through his own body making him think, for a split second, that he was the one shot instead. The pain escalated then flared throughout, causing Brian to double over and practically lay flush against Justin. Raising his head with a grimace he kept his eyes locked on Justin's and kept his hand firmly in place as he sent his own pulse of strength to probe into Justin and find the bullet that had not exited. Locating it he began to bring it forth, through the same path it had taken when it had entered Justin's stomach. When the bullet finally emerged from the wound Brian lifted his palm, keeping his fingers still upon the bloody skin, and let the bullet fall away to the floor.

Justin felt like his insides were on fire before the feeling turned into a needling. A second warmth started to spread and that's when he shook, arching his back. The feeling seemed to pause when Brian ran his free hand through Justin's damp hair, telling him it was going to be okay, continuing to whisper it.

Brian had finished healing everything internal and was now working on the broken skin of his abdomen. Both men feeling the same lightheadedness....one from having his body heal so quickly that his mind still wasn't sure what was going on and the second from giving so much of himself and his ability that he felt he might blackout at any second.

The fog started to lift from Justin's thoughts. His mind becoming stronger as he became fixated on the hazel eyes above his...the warm breath hitting his face as Brian seemed to be overexerting himself.

Having taken only a few minutes to complete, Brian's purple tinged lips and pale face made it seem like it had been forever.

Afraid to discover that what he had done didn't help Brian lifted his palm, hesitating before removing his hand completely. A dozen different emotions went through him as he took in the smooth pale skin raising and lowering with each breath Justin took. The hole was gone. The only thing left signaling that there had been any wound at all was some streaked blood.

"Holy Christ!" Raising her fingers to her opened mouth, Deb's eyes were large from shock but filled with wonderment. "Brian?" she then reached out and plucked the bullet from the floor, her eyes larger than before.

Brian stayed bent over Justin taking an extra moment to assure himself everything was okay. Justin blinked slowly to ward off any remaining dizziness as he raised his head, looking down to his stomach where Brian's hand was adjusting the blood soaked fabric over a hole which no longer existed.

What just happened?

He had been shot, in pain, slowly slipping away within the weakness he had felt while laying there. Now though, except for the headache that was beginning, he felt okay.

Gazing at Brian his eyes flew back and forth between the hazel ones boring into him. "You're alright now." he thought he heard Brian whisper to him. Then a hand grazed his cheek and Justin just furrowed his brows in confusion while Brian smirked at him. From his cheek the hand moved to his hair, running through and shifting the pieces off of his face.

Sirens sounded in the distance and Brian looked up to Michael who was openly gawking until he got hit in the chest with the keys to the jeep. Snatching them off the floor he nodded to Brian and hurried out the door.

Pulling a couple bottles of ketchup from a shelf underneath the counter he slammed the necks of the two bottles together, shattering them before pouring the substance over Justin's shirt. "You broke the bottles when you fell to the floor....after seeing the gun." Running his fingers through the ketchup Justin looked up dumbly causing Brian to repeat himself.

Deb grabbed the blood soaked rag off the floor and shoo'd Brian away with it. "He'll be okay...now, get out of here."

Helping Justin to his feet Brian steadied him against the counter, letting go when Deb took over. Justin pulled on the bottom of his shirt, feeling the ketchup along the material but underneath he could feel the different texture of the blood that was still there. His gaze searching as he thought back to the last couple of minutes.

A hand tilted his chin up and broke him from his thoughts. "Are you okay?" Brian asked gently.

Justin whispered, "Yeah." Continuing to stare up, blue eyes questioning, words hard to come by at the moment. The sirens had been distant but becoming louder it broke the two men from their stances and stares.

Deb let go of Justin and moved to approach Brian, taking hold of his stained suit coat and leading him to the door by it. "Honey I can't believe...what you just did? Michael's out front, go!"

Turning, Brian shouldered the door, looking back to Justin, who was stumbling along the counter, his eyes having never left the man. Keeping a hand on the counter Justin continued in Brian's direction only stopping when Brian turned the rest of the way and finally fled from sight.

Relieving his hand from the task of holding himself up, Justin lowered down to an elbow, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Deb was at his side asking him question after question but he ignored her, his mind trying to wrap itself around what had just happened. He had been shot, he knew that much. Knew what it felt like to have a bullet slam into you and tear open your flesh. And now he knew...what? What exactly had he felt? His body being repaired and healed. Taking another deep breath and exhaling slowly, his free hand tightened against his stomach. Opening his eyes his sight shifted across the counter and downward to the red stained mess on the floor. The bright red flood of ketchup, then the darker streams mixed within it. Blousing out his shirt, Justin's hand started to shake as the bullet hole came into view. Only one bullet hole now, fabric the only casualty. He remembered all the blood, his blood. "Deb I need to sit down."

"Of course! Right over here."

He lowered himself into the back booth numb to the wrong hand in his hair this time, trying to comfort him. "Deb, what happened?"

"Honey, I-" The sirens screamed one last time then stopped suddenly as the paramedics arrived. Leaving her sentence unfinished Deb abandoned Justin at the table then pushed through the kitchen door, calling out. "Fill that bucket and bring it out here with the mop!"

"I'm the cook, not the janitor!" grumbled Hose.

"Does this look like the face of someone who can deal with your attitude right now? Just fill it and wheel the fucking thing out there, alright? Got it? No fucking lip!" Sticking the bullet in the middle of the towel she balled it up and backtracked to her coat to stuff the bloody towel in the sleeve, vowing to burn it later on. On her way back to Justin she cut off Hose, taking hold of the mop herself and then hurrying behind the counter to clean up the visible mess.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forty-Five minutes had passed. The police had started with Justin's statement and then fanned out to the lunchers that had remained to give their own accounts. Most of which had mentioned Justin being hurt in some way. Deb had returned to Justin's side only after she had hurried to clean up the evidence, which she did while the paramedics had looked him over. She had gotten a few curious glances, but her brass tone and hard words about safety and sanitary reasons had deflected most questions.

The diner now was mostly empty, Justin still in the back booth and Deb offering the police coffee as most were now standing out front trying to get witness's and the direction in which the men had gone.

Spending almost the hour before trying to convince people that nothing had happened Justin tried to quell the rising panic that had continued to sneak up on him ever since Brian had left. Sure he had convinced them, he thought. However he had not been able to convince himself. He knew something had happened and that he wasn't okay...the way he felt now was an indication to that. Feeling like the walls were closing in on him, his palms sweaty...Justin stood and walked back around the counter to where he usually kept his things. Slinging his coat over his arm he spoke to Deb who had just come back in with an empty pitcher. "I have to get out of here."

"Just stay a little longer and I'll go home with you." Deb insisted.

"No, I'm not....I think I just want to be alone, okay?"

Deb knew that he knew it wouldn't be okay with her by the look on his face, she knew she'd have to reluctantly agree. "Okay but get changed first you can't go walking around in that." leading him to the backroom she reached inside one of the storage lockers, removing a folded way to large white shirt. "Now you put this on and I'll take care of everything else." Nodding mutely Justin pulled his shirt off, pretending to not notice the way Deb's eyes zero'd in on his stomach. He yanked the clean shirt on quickly, feeling self-conscious and handed her the ruined one.

Worried by Justin's obvious internalizing Deb pulled him into a hug and held on to him. "Go and get some rest, I'll see you soon." Against her neck he shook his head okay, stepped back and then left through the back door. Turning, she caught sight of an officer that had obviously been eavesdropping. "I assume it's in your job description to fucking spy on people?" he didn't answer her question and instead told her that the detectives wanted to make sure they got the direction of where the gun had been fired correct.

Telling him she'd be out in a minute he seemed hesitant but finally left her alone. Placing the shirt in a bag inside that same locker, she closed the door and walked back out to the front. Stutter stepping when she found two police officers behind the counter. One crouched down, the other standing; both inspecting the walls. She knew they would not find anything and wondered how long they would continue to look. She just wanted the diner back to normal. Her boys back to normal...though one of them hadn't ever been normal. Debbie sighed.

Outside an officer went up to the head detective and whispered a few words. The older man nodded and the younger officer disappeared down the alley way behind the diner and locating the back door, he went inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The incessant banging never seemed to end. Whether it be from his head or the steel door across the room. Hoping to remedy one of them Brian brought himself up off the sofa and moved to the door, sliding it open, a strange face assessing him right away. The man studied him for a few moments, then asked. "Mr. Kinney?"

Checking the older man out and wondering who he was, Brian inquired for a name which the detective gave with a gruff voice. "Detective Horvath." not waiting to be asked in Horvath passed on Brian's left side and walked the expanse of hardwood floor until he met the bottom of the bedroom stairs. Looking around his brain had started to catalog everything his eyes took in.

Keeping the loft door open Brian through out a snide "Won't you come on in?" while making his way to the fridge, pulling out a beer. He twisted off the cap and took a deep gulp.

Horvath continued to walk around the loft, moving the curtains out of the way to glance out the window, he ended up by the T.V before speaking again. "Mr. Kinney were you at the diner this afternoon?"

Narrowing his eyes Brian thought about his answer and decided to give an honest one. "Considering you're here I'd say you already know the answer to that, but yes, I was."

"Between 11am & 12pm?"

More honesty. "Yes give or take," Brian answered.

"During that time there was a dispute where a gun was fired and a Justin Taylor was injured, is this right?"

Brian frowned. "Not injured from the gun but I think a broken bottle." What and you never lied? He took another swig of beer, placing the empty bottle on the counter. Spotting a smear of blood on his sleeve Brian turned quickly and made it disappear with his hand. Turning back around he became agitated when he saw Horvath making a B-line for his computer. "Okay I give up, why don't you tell me what you're searching for. I live here so I bet I could find it faster."

Horvath stopped, contemplating Brian's question before responding. "Not really searching for anything, but maybe someone."

"Well those men aren't in my loft Detective and I'm sure whatever you want to know you've already been told a dozen times, so..." Brian motioned toward his still open door. "I have alot to do, that whole situation at the diner fucked up my work schedule." Climbing the steps he disappeared into his bathroom. Hearing the metal door slam shut a few moments later he hung his head and released a deep breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As he walked to his car Horvath pulled out his phone as it beeped. "Horvath," listening, his face turned thoughtful. "So there was no impact point from the bullet?" After getting a response he asked a different question. "Is that shirt to Forensics yet?" Receiving confirmation he snapped his phone shut and tapping his fingers on the hood of his car he looked up to the windows of the loft he had just exited from. Smiling to himself he got into the drivers seat and opening his phone again he hit a number he thought he'd never have the chance to use. "Agent Pierce please."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Days Later......

It had been that long since anyone had seen Justin or Brian. Deb had expected to see Justin when she had gotten home later that night, after the police had finally left the diner, but when she got home he wasn't there. Vic had told her he hadn't seen him and after filling him in on what happened they had grown concerned, wondering at Justin's state of mind. Now two days had gone by, Deb hoping she'd catch him working at the diner but of course Justin had decided not to come, calling in sick instead. Deb had first called with concerned messages but none had been returned. Frantic with worry that Justin was alone and dealing with this by himself, she wasn't sure if she should call his mother or not. The reality of what had happened was a lot for her to handle and she had known what Brian was since he had been a teenager. The day Michael brought him home, the tall, lanky boy seemed like any other teenager; not much of a talker but quick with the attitude and snide comments but a good kid underneath the battered hard shell. One night, that Deb can remember like it was yesterday, he had shown up with a split lip and a puffy eye. While she patched him up, Vic talked to him trying to get him to open up. Brian though just sat there quietly, keeping his emotions locked away. That night it had been a frigid January night but inside the house it felt muggy, like a hot July afternoon. A certain charge in the air. She was about to tell Vic to turn the damn thermostat off when one of her ceramic cats on the mantle cracked....a jagged line running along its side. The echo of it caused the three of them to jump while Brian sat there intently staring at it. Michael was moving towards it when the cat shattered. The charge had left the house then, about as fast as it had come. Finally Brian had met her eyes and begun to apologize, his eyes shiny with tears. "It's not your fault" she had repeated, patting his hand. Vic had cleaned it up and dustpan in hand went to dispose of the shards but Brian stood and stopped him, grabbing hold of the dustpan and dumping the pieces on the kitchen table.

"Don't cut yourself" she had said and he just smiled at her sadly, a hint of mischief in his eyes. Holding his hand over the mess the pieces started swirling. Round and round picking up more and more until it became a tornado of pieces. Fixing itself from the bottom. Cat's paws to a smooth stomach and then finally the face. The ceramic had rebuilt itself until it was complete. Brian had handed it to her and she almost broke it for the second time that night, her hands trembling. He went back inside himself again, frightened and fearful, he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Deb didn't know what to do and she sure as hell didn't know what to think so she did the only thing that came to mind. Minding of his bruises she lifted his chin, met his eyes and brought him forward into her arms, not letting him go since. She knew Brian could handle himself now, not like that night long ago.

Most of her concern was for Justin. He was still on the outside not knowing what the fuck was going on. She decided to call him again hoping this time he'd answer.

No such luck.


End file.
